Can't Quite Identify The Feeling...

Have you ever felt hopeless??

Because that's definitely not what I feel right now. It might be described as things that might seem like hopelessness, but that's not what this is.

I'm not depressed.
I'm not alone.
I'm not powerless...in a sense.

My heart does ache, and I am here by myself, but not alone.

So often I intend to write a certain something, and it turns out to be this monster of a thing, or the exact opposite...

I'm being vague, and I suppose that's what I'm really shooting for anyway, so don't condemn this quite yet.

But back to what I'm feeling.

I'm David Kill, and as most of my former readers from MySpace (which I am no longer apart of) would know full well, is that I am very proud of who I am. I have, in so many ways, built up David Kill to be this person...The Persona of David Kill I would say. But David Kill is the name that my parents gave me, and I thank them for it, because otherwise I could have been named Courtney, and well, that might not have made the greatest of names...anyway, rabbit trail, I apologize.
Back to my name...I have built up this person, this air about me that demands things I have not yet earned, or claimed things that are still an arms length away. I have not attained any status or title or anything spectacular.

I am just David Kill as of this moment.

Living and breathing because God said that it would be okay for me to live another day.

My desire for anyone who stumbles across, whatever it is that this might become...these letters that form words, and words that have meaning...is that they might touch your heart, maybe in the slightest sense, but even still.

My faith: Something I hold very dear. Not because it's my faith, but because of Who my faith is in. I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe He is the divine Son of the Living God. I believe He died to save me from a punishment I deserved before accepting his FREE GIFT.

...and that is what I want to touch your lives...or if you are sitting there reading this alone...your life.

David Kill ceasing to exist or stepping out of any spotlight I might have placed myself in, and placing Christ there where He belongs.

FINALLY THE FEELING: I titled this blog "Can't Quite Identify The Feeling..." I know that you can read, but that is prefacing the next thing I'm going to say. I have been struggling through some things, as have a whole ton of people in this economy, and I've reached a point in my life, where I have nothing...nothing but family, and friends, and that's it. No, I'm not perfect, and I haven't always made the right decisions (AKA: Jan. 19th, 2006), but I am here on this earth and whatever I might do to touch lives, which is just a very small bit, I want to do.
I can't quite identify what I'm feeling right now, because I don't feel hopeless, I don't feel alone, I don't feel betrayed or denied or depressed...I can't identify this feeling because it relates to all of those, but is really like none of them. I feel incomplete without Christ, and without who Christ intended for me to share this life with. I'm not alone, but I am without...in a sense. But I truly have everything I need, and if I don't recognize that, then I suppose all could be lost.